Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Moving forward

The past twelve months have gone so quickly...
It feels like I've only just started my last year of high school, but really i only have 13days and 5exams to go... I am so freaking happy...

I was thinking just today how blessed I have been this year and how even if i was able to I wouldn't change a single thing about it

My TOP ten (equally fav) things from 2009 (SO FAR!)
- Our trip to NZ, meeting the most amazing people ever and spending amazing time with God
- Chrysalis experience and the people I met there
- Strengthened relationship with God and the desire to keep on strengthening
- Friendships, both new and old
- Energy drinks and caffiene
- Mount warning sunrise adventure
- P plates and freedom
- new babies and new relationships
- Finishing school
- spontaneous adventures and Car trip sing alongs

Everyone keeps asking me what i want to do next year...
Truely, I don't have any set plans as yet... but hopefully it will be a year of working hard and partying hard... living for every day ...making the most of the year of freedom, of the opportunities i can take, taking a billion photos and making some incredible memories...before i settle down for Uni and hard work.

I am so blessed and I have the best friends...

"its the journey, not the destination, that matters..."

One of my goals for 2010 is:
To be able to bring glory and praise to God in everything I do... no matter how big or small.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Hard Decisions...

What do you do when you are presented an opportunity of a lifetime, a 12 month experience, one that is so incredible and exciting ... but not one person wants you to go...
My mother, my friends, my family
People have told me they are praying that I don't get accepted.
These are some of my closest friends.
Do I keep praying for it... even though I seem to be the only one who wants it to happen
or do i abandon the idea?

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Chrysalis 2009

Friday 10th July 2009- I woke up feeling sick because I was just so nervous and anxious about the whole weekend, I did already know alot about Chrysalis but I was still so worried about the new and daunting environment and community of strangers I was about to enter into. We ended up getting there late which only increased my nerves as I felt like we were already standing out and were somewhat 'outsiders' now. Now I realise how silly those feelings were, although at the start I felt so nervous I quickly realised how amazing this experience actually was.
We were then put into table/cabin groups and had to come up with a name... We were the Sasquatch Beaters and included Sophie, Shenae, Jo and Myself with leaders June and Elyce, who soon became some really great friends of mine.

There is so much more I would love to share about these three days and what went on, but I don't want to ruin it for anyone else that hasn't been and was planning on going. SO if you want to hear in detail the amazing me :)

Some things I learnt:
1. This weekend was a chance to see God's true unconditional love and realise that he made each of us, me included, unrepeatable and for a specific purpose. There is nothing we can do or say or not do or not say that can seperate us from Gods love, because unlike humans God loves us with no if's, but's or because of's...he just loves us, and so much that he sent his one and only son to earth to die on the cross for US, to take our sins and give us eternal life. This was something I had never truly accepted, i knew it in my head, i knew it all... i had just never accepted that he loves me aswell. I battled with an argument of: But i have not done anything, i am not talented, I am not beautiful, I am not smart, I am the exception in this statement. But no, this weekend God's unconditional love was shown to me... and i realised that no matter what i have done or not done God still loves me so much, and even if i don't want it I can never stop God loving me.
There was one person in particular at this camp that helped me break down walls and accept Gods love, she continuously told me how much God loved me and just held me(God knew what I needed at that time and empowered her to be the one to show me and bless me so much). one particular instance that i will never forget as long as I live was one night after hours of crying I was sitting at the table in my cabin writing and trying to figure out WHY... WHY god loves me WHY me? and what do i have to do to be able to accept this love. She came in and just hugged me and held me and then took me into the chapel and sat me at the foot of the cross... This moment changed me, it was a realisation... "What more proof do you want? Jesus died on the cross for you."
This helped me to change my focus, and realise that I am not good enough but its only by God's grace. This life is not about me, it doesn't matter if I am not good enough or can't do certain things God still loves me so so much. You may be reading this and thinking that the moment wasn't all that special, but no one will ever understand how much it has changed me, and how much of a loving act that was.

2. I may be chosen for single life and that is not a burden but something God wants me to use to strengthen others and worship him. Yet i may also be called to married life, and the singleness right now is a gift from God as a time to push into him and find our true identity in him and to have our feet planted firmly so when storms of life come we are not shaken in our beliefs or relationship with God.

3. The power of prayer, Okay so i know my last post is titled this...but WOW! I have never felt prayer like this ever before. I feel as though i am now talking to someone rather than to a wall and it is the most powerful tool. STORY: I was at home on monday night... and my home is not much of a home at night times, so I decided that i had to get away, because although i have grown so much in Christ I did not want that to be shattered in one night, so i decided I'd leave, go and pray and build up my relationship and trust in God before i could face the problem head on...(i believe this was not a cowardly act, no matter what anyone says, I just know how easily things can be turned around and how easy i get hurt so this was the smartest option) I had no idea where I was going... this was no joke I prayed and asked God to take me somewhere (i had been driving for 10 minutes now), somewhere safe and somewhere that would be an encourageing environment, alone or with others, anywhere, I asked him to show me... no more than two seconds after I finished praying, my phone rang... Hayley was on the other end and she asked me if I wanted to come over... I hadn't told her about me even leaving my house or anything.... I was blown away, God is amazing.

People on this camp helped me to grow, both new and old friends, and i know that God put them in my life for a reason, there is no doubting that and I hope that God can or has used me in others lives to help them even in the smallest way.

Although Chrysalis was the most amazing experience, it brought out so many things that I thought i had let go of, so many things i didnt even know affected me that much, but had been holding me back so much from being everything God wants me to be and falling into his arms...this is not meant to be a negative comment... it is good, because in dealing with these issues one by one i am getting closer to being the woman God wants me to be. Going on a camp is one of the best things in the world... to take time out of your busy life and to be filled with such a joy and happiness... one thing i realised when i got home was that the world did not change with me when I was on camp, in fact nothing did except me... and generally this is something that gets me down but this time i chose to accept that this camp was a seed sown in was just the start, and that life is not going to be ever joyful, the christian way is hard... but it is so worth it, no matter the circumstances, issues, problems, people and hurt...I will be a follower of Christ in everything I do.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Power Of Prayer...

Over the past few weeks or so I have been praying for female christian friends, I have two that are my age here now(but i hardly ever see them) and really just desire to have more my age (don't get me wrong, some of my best mates are not my age!) I just want friends that are in the same boat as me, people i can relate to and just spend time hanging out with, i desire to have people to HANG WITH!!!
So anyway i have been praying and praying about it, and on thursday night at my new job i was talking to a girl i had just started becoming friends with and she told me that she was a christian, she is a couple of months younger than me and is also helping out with youth at the moment, i was sooooooo stoked! and shocked... i guess all the time i was praying i didnt really expect it to happen... but God is amazing! She is a christian and she is awesome and i really just hope that we can become good friends. ....haha great story.

Sunday, June 14, 2009


I’m going through a crappy period of being scared and feeling alone
I know from everything I’ve been taught and all I have experienced that I am never alone, God is always there and there is no need to be worried or scared (Matthew 6:25-34) as God has our future all planned and he will always be there for us.
Yet I can’t rid myself of this feeling, of isolation and worry, I feel so scared about my future...the jobs, opportunities, hsc etc....I go to bed at night and pray and pray that I’ll have the strength to overcome this... yet I still wake up in the morning with just a hole inside me, and I question the point of getting up for the day. I just feel really alone at the moment, this is a section of my life where so many things are changing and so stressful and I really just need someone to physically go to and be able to let everything out.
It’s so hard to accept that God loves me so much and he has a future planned for me when he has now just left me alone and so confused. I know that he is using this time to test me, to strengthen me, to let me show him that even when things are crappy I will still be so dedicated to Him... so even though I feel as though I can’t get out of bed in the morning, I will and I will praise Him while doing it because even though my life may not be how I want it to be right now, God knows my heart and my desires and he has a great plan in store for me... staying strong through the tough times will build my character and make me a better person and hopefully even a role model or inspiration for someone one day.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

My Communion message- May 24-2009

I’m still not really sure what I should be saying for communion so I decided instead to share through my personal experiences with Jesus over the past few weeks and the amazing things he has provided me with and hopefully you will get something out of it.
So I was sitting at home on Thursday with flood pouring down around me thinking about what to write for communion...and I decided I wanted to focus on the joy Jesus has given me and praising God no matter where we are in our lives.
A few weeks ago I went through some hard stuff, I really struggled and I just cried out to Jesus... his response was “Not just now, Don’t just cry out to me when you need something” Habakkuk 3:17-18 says: “though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the lord, I will be joyful in God my saviour” that really impacted me and just made me realise how incredible my life is and that everything I have is from him, and yet the only time I manage to reach for him it is because something is not right.
I was looking back to my relationship with Jesus over the past year and it actually reminded me of a dog we had when I was younger, this dog rarely came near me and when it did it was only because it was hungry or after I had just fed it... over the past year I only reached out to Jesus when I needed something, when something was wrong, when I was upset... and I only praised him when I had received something or when something good had happened, this year has been stressing me out a lot, especially year 12 and I’ve been feeling pretty down and so far from God
If any of you saw me last Sunday during worship, I completely broke down- in a good way, I lifted my hands in praise to God and just started crying... firstly crying is a rare thing for me but it wasn’t just any crying I was shaking and tears were streaming down my face... at that moment I just realised how incredible my life actually is, how much God had given me... friends, family, health, opportunities, education, happiness. And for once it wasn’t just about circumstances, I realised that circumstances will always change, bad things will always happen, but God is always there, Jesus died for us, he endured such a painful death in order to give us life and even when we stuff up he still forgives us and promised us eternity with him in Heaven. I realised how much God had given me and how little I praised him for that. I completely re committed my life at that point and it is the closest I have felt for ages.
Over this past week Jesus has just been helping me to see the amazing things in my life, he has been helping me to see the good even in the bad situations and showing me that everything in my life is there for a reason, whether person or opportunity. He has just been redirecting my focus, to the bigger picture and the opportunities that will come from things. He didn’t change any situations, he just helped me to see it differently. I have found that by praising god even when bad things are happening I have become so much more joyful, and have such a deeper insight into life.
I have learnt over this past week that = When you say God is awesome, or openly praise God, people generally jump up in excitement and think something awesome has happened – like your cured of a disease, you passed a test, you found love... 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says: Be joyful always; pray continually give thanks in all circumstances, for this is Gods will for you in Christ Jesus. No matter the circumstance, no matter the problems in your life, no matter who is around we should go out of our way daily to praise God, because we all have life and none of us here has been through half as much as what Jesus went through, and he didn’t do that for himself, he did that for us. We don’t need good situations in order to praise him... he died for us to have life and I think that’s worth praising for.

Breaking Barriers May 18, 2009

This is a post from my facebook site, that I guess just really started this new life in Christ I have at the moment and thought it should be the first post on this So enjoy! and comment! :)

So I am one of those kids that sit in church on Sunday mornings and sometimes sings along during praise and worship, hands chilling in my pockets, I am one of the quiet ones, I don’t sing even though my heart is thrashing around in my chest just to be let out and praise God. Sadly, I try to contain it... as though everyone is watching me and I don’t much like to be the centre of attention.
The past few weeks I have been feeling all over the place, especially due to HSC, but recently I have seen how many amazing things I have in my life, I have the best friends in the world (not even joking), I am healthy(to an extent), I have a family, I am nearly finished school, I had the opportunity to travel over seas, I have Jesus.Today during worship I just lifted my hands to God, thanking him for everything, the next thing I knew I was crying, (this in itself is a rare occurrence for me in public) not just watering eyes... I was shaking, gasping for breath type crying... I didn’t realise/acknowledge until that point how incredible my life actually is, God has blessed me so much...i continually looked at the negative pieces of my puzzle (yeah I do have my fair share of bad days and horrible problems as well) Music finished and three of my best friends just came and held me... I couldn’t breathe, I was so incredibly emotional and in awe. I knew I had great friends, I knew God was incredible I knew life rocked... but that moment completely changed me, everything was clear...As soon as I lifted my hands in praise a weight was just taken off my shoulders, I felt so free, everything seemed to fall in to place. Later our Pastor stood at the front and asked me to come forward so he could pray for me, he started praying about specific things that i was really struggling with, God just told him everything and again i broke down, until today i was feeling so far from God, i was feeling as though he wasnt listenining, i underestimated him.
Today walls within me were broken, and its awesome! God is so good.After church I was standing outside with one of my greatest friends, and she was just like ‘Sarah what’s going on? Your Aura has totally changed! Ha-ha’ and that’s exactly how it felt... I walked into church that morning just my normal self thinking about school the next day ehhhhhh and other trivial things, I walked out realising how much some things just don’t matter and how some things are so incredibly important, and the fact we tend to focus on all the wrong things.

These are some things that have become so clear today, and I just need to share them!
- by putting my fear aside stepping out and praising God I was blessed, my anger and frustration were taken and I was able to just express myself freely and give God the praise he deserves.
-crying in the arms of others, just letting things out on friends, is okay. Its one of the most incredible feelings and in a way brings joy to both parties.
-I have the most incredible friends in the world, seriously, they would support me and help me through anything, even if it wasn’t something they ever wanted to do. Friends of all ages, They are the type of friends who would give up something important to them just to be with you when you were hurting and know how to have fun no matter what. These friends have been there when those I thought were friends had just walked out when I didn’t compromise my faith.
-even if i was feeling absolutly horrible at any point in time, you just need to remember life is so much more than one day, situatiions sometimes suck but look for what God wants you to do in any given situation... there will always be something.
- I realised that Yes, school is important. And doing well is something I need to keep my eyes focused on... but school is not everything. If school work got in the way of my relationships with God or friends I would sacrifice school any day. Relationships are a huge part of my life and I would much rather be investing time in them than spending hours studying an English text or solving maths equations.
-I have realised that God puts certain people in our lives when we need them most and lets them work in our lives, I have also realised God takes people away from our lives for periods of time, weeks, months, years, and that also is a good thing, even though it hurts so much that they are no longer physically present, you can’t hang out with them or just chat, God uses this time to grow you in other ways, and I feel as though he uses it in my life to help me to grow as an individual and not just a branch off a tree. He uses that time to let me appreciate their influence, learn from what they’ve taught and move forward, sharing with other people things you’ve learnt , I’m not talking about completely barring off the person, but not being dependant on them, to build up relationships equally with others, because as they have been an influence in your life, you can use what you have learnt and be an influence in someone else’s life.
-Things don't ever stay the same, things change... it sucks heaps... but there is no way your going to grow if you staying in one spot.-Accepting Jesus into my life is the best thing that has ever happened to me, I have lost many friends by doing this, but I have gained so much more.
-No matter what happens in this life, I will stand strong in my faith.